Time is Fake, But Love Isn't
Listen. I am not a closet romantic. I love love. I love Valentine's Day. I love it all. I don't trust people that think romantic comedies hold no cinematic merit. Y'all are fools. So, since this blog didn't exist around Valentine's Day and because I'm too impatient to wait until it comes back around, I'm going to make a list of my favorite romantic comedies. You heard it here first, August 14th is the new February 14th.
The 10 Best Romantic Comedies
(In No Particular Order and Subject to Change)
- Sleepless in Seattle - I get how somebody watching this could be like, she fell in love just because of some dude's voice on the radio that's unrealistic. I'm here to tell you that I understand one hundred percent why Meg Ryan does what she does. Listen, love just hits ya sometimes. And sometimes you gotta low key stalk a dude all the way across the country.
- Favorite Quote: "It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together."
- Sleeping With Other People - Two movies in a row about sleep. What're the odds? Anyway, this one's not as famous as the first one. It premiered at Sundance a few years ago and is about Jake and Lainey. They met in college and lost their virginities to each other, but lost touch after college. The two meet again years later after many failed relationships and agree to help each other fix the things that have caused their relationships to fail. Of course, they start to like each other, but the timing never quite seems to be on their side. I'm not ruining this movie for you because it really is a gem you should go watch it.
- Favorite Quote: "I love you for free, Lainey."
- The Edge of Seventeen - This one is one I saw at TIFF last year on a whim because I really wanted to make sure I saw something in the massive Roy Thompson Hall theatre. It's about Nadine and her best friend, Krista, who have been ride or die since elementary school. Nadine's world ends when Krista starts dating Nadine's older brother. High school, amiright? Nadine starts hanging out with Erwin who is the best, most charismatic male lead of all time. Plus, Woody Harrelson as the bored high school history teacher. What more do you want??
- Favorite Quote: "There are two types of people in the world: The people who naturally excel at life. And the people who hope all those people die in a big explosion."
- Obvious Child - You can fight me, but there is genuinely nothing more romantic than the moment in this movie where the two leads are at dinner and the guy warms the girl's butter. That's not a euphemism. The waiter drops off bread and butter and he grabs a packet of butter and warms it up in his hands for her so that it's spreadable on the bread. That is true love and you can't convince me otherwise. This movie does center around a woman deciding whether or not she should get an abortion which is not the most romantic premise in the world, but trust me. It's charming as hell.
- Favorite Quote: "I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kind of in an emotional crisis right now."
- Moonlight - (Listen, I know this technically isn't a comedy, but it's also one of the most romantic movies I've ever seen, so I'm letting it slide.) If you haven't seen Moonlight, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN YOUR LIFE? Seriously. This deserved every Oscar it got and more. Truly. It's about a boy named Chiron growing up in Miami with a drug addict mother. You watch Chiron grow up and fall in love with his classmate, Kevin. It's the most beautiful, heartbreaking movie I've ever seen. Like that's love. The entire diner scene. Oh my god. That's art. That's a love story.
- Favorite Quote: "Yeah. We here, Chiron."
- Moonrise Kingdom - My dream Halloween costume is the scout's costume in this movie. However, I don't really like Halloween and I certainly don't want to put in the effort to make a homemade Halloween costume, so it's safe to say I'll probably die before I wear this costume. The movie's about these two kids that run away together because they're young and in love. It's then up to these bumbling adults to try and track down where the kids have gone to. The movie's very sweet and filled with the usual Wes Anderson charm.
- Favorite Quote: "I think you've still got lightning in you."
- Grease 2 - It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone with a brain knows that Grease can't hold a candle to Grease 2. Them's the facts and you better get on the train. If you haven't seen this movie because you're a fool, it's basically the reverse of Grease where the new boy wants to impress the cool girl. There is no girl in cinematic history cooler than Michelle Pfieffer. The songs are better in the sequel, too. My favorite's either Do It For Our Country or Cool Rider. Danny Zuko who??
- Favorite Quote: "We're going to die and I'm wearing my mother's underwear!"
- She's All That - I know I said I wasn't picking favorites, but this is definitely consistently in my top ten favorite movies of all time. It's so dumb and it's been remade a thousand times, but I just love it so much. The movie's about Laney who is a quiet, artistic girl that works at a falafel shop. (The falafel's not relevant, but I'm picturing the hat she has to wear and I'm laughing hysterically alone in my apartment.) Zach, the super popular recently dumped all star quarterback, makes a bet that he can make any girl into a prom queen. His friends pick Laney and Zach ends up actually falling in love with Laney because once she takes her glasses off, she's a total babe. That was the moral of the story, right? (I will say, Not Another Teen Movie's parody of Laney's painting scene is a masterpiece.)
- Favorite Quote: "I could win this thing in fluorescent lighting, on the first day of my period, cloaked in T.J. Maxx."
- She's the Man - Early 2000s Amanda Bynes was unstoppable. Between this and What a Girl Wants, Amanda Bynes could not make a bad movie. This movie is why I tolerated learning about Shakespeare in high school. If you somehow escaped the early 2000s without seeing this movie, it's a modern retelling of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. Viola, Amanda Bynes, loves soccer and her school cuts the girls' team. Her twin brother Sebastian wants to go to London to pursue music, so he asks Viola to cover for him at his new school. Viola takes that as a chance to impersonate Sebastian, try out for the soccer team, and beat her old school's boys' soccer team in their yearly rivalry match. You go, girl.
- Favorite Quote: "So, uh, do you... like cheese?"
- The Princess Bride - Y'all really thought I could make a list without including the greatest cross genre film of all time? Y'all really thought?? Anyway, if you're somehow old enough to visit this blog, but you haven't seen this movie, get off this trash blog and find a copy of this masterpiece.
- Favorite Quote: "As you wish."
- The Little Death - I can't let this list go without one of my favorite scenes. The movie itself I remember being okay, but this scene I remember wishing to go on forever. The movie's on Netflix, so go to the mark with 23:50 left and watch until the screen goes black. It doesn't matter if you've seen the rest of the movie because it's a Love, Actually style movie where the storylines are all pretty separate. If you don't want to pull it up on Netflix, and I feel like no one will, I'll give you the run down. Basically, this girl, Monica, works as an interpreter for deaf people. People Skype call her and give her a phone number to call, she then calls the number and relays the information in sign language to the caller on Skype. This guy, Sam, calls in and signs the phone number for a phone sex line. What happens next is an utter mess. There's a massive delay from all the translating and Monica feels awkward about signing all the things the lady on the phone sex line is saying. Through the mishaps, her and Sam end up being more interested in each other and he tells her the hang up on the sex line. It's wildest meet cute I've ever seen and it is so unexpectedly gosh darned cute.