Tina Kakadelis
YA Author

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Burn Before Reading: A Carly Allen Story

It's Time We All Admit to Having a Crush on Ryan Gosling

IMG_6033 Are you guys sick of me yet? Usually you get a reprieve from my word vomit with the actual quote of the day, but it's STILL ME. Don't worry, tomorrow's the last day of whatever this is. I don't have a rhyme or reason for why I'm doing this except for narcissism introducing you new readers to my writing. I know you all want to be informed before making a choice in purchasing my book.

A few years ago, I read this article about how James Marsden never gets the girl in any of the movies he's in. I feel like it was on BuzzFeed, but the quick Google search I did for it yielded no conclusive results. I'm sorry, was I just possessed by a scientist while writing that last sentence? I'm so sorry for being so formal on a blog where I genuinely talk about complete nonsense. Hence me spending too many words on the James Marsden effect.

Since I am a lesbian and all men look the same to me I'm really bad with faces, I don't really remember James Marsden movies. I know I've seen some, but the only one coming to mind is The Notebook. Which is actually a good place to start.

In The Notebook, James is a really nice guy. I think. I've seen this movie twice maybe in my whole life. Anyway, he's a nice guy that starts dating Rachel McAdams and they're probably going to get married if it weren't for that pesky little problem of Ryan Gosling. I feel like I'm spoiling nothing by saying that Ryan and Rachel end up together. Everyone's seen the scene where they're in the rain and Rachel's like "Why didn't you write me?" and Ryan's like "I wrote you every day for a year."

Moving stuff. Look at me I'm crying. (I'm not really crying.)

James Marsden doesn't get the girl in X-Men and he doesn't get the girl in the Superman movie he's in and he doesn't get the girl he thought he wanted in Enchanted, but he gets a better girl. So I guess that doesn't count? Overall, James Marsden can't hold a candle to Ryan Gosling.

Ryan Gosling is cool. Just like a cool guy. I have no actual personal experience to base this on, but I've seen the only good parts of Crazy, Stupid, Love on numerous occasions, so I feel qualified. (Yeah, you read that right. I've got a lot of issues with Crazy, Stupid, Love, but that's for another day.) There's something about him that is very dashing and I feel like we don't use the word "dashing" enough.

Despite how charming he is, Ryan Gosling doesn't really have the best luck with women in movies. I mean, look at La La Land. That movie somehow gave me so much hope and so much despair in the course of one movie. I experienced whiplash. (WHAT A NICHE JOKE, TINA.) Despite his fictitious efforts, there's just something about Ryan Gosling that makes him seem like the pinnacle of romance.

In my book, the main character's kind of on her last ditch effort to win back the girl of her dreams. She writes a song that I believe is called Ryan. (Really professional, Tina. You don't even know the name of the song you wrote.) The song's basically about how she is so desperate to not be the James Marsden of her crush's life. I tried to do a different quote from the song, but my letterboard kit didn't have the right combination of letters. I'm still gonna share it here because there are no rules to this blog.

But I'm not giving up this fight

Cause honey, you're my baby

And I'm praying you're in my corner tonight

What a cool Dirty Dancing reference that has nothing to with James Marsden or Ryan Gosling. That's all for today. Have a happy Friday. I hope you're the Ryan Gosling of your crush's life.