Tina Kakadelis
YA Author


Burn Before Reading: A Carly Allen Story

Sports & Feminism

Despite lettering in tennis in high school and playing on my college team, I don't really care for sports. (The women's national soccer team is not included in that blanket statement.) I like the idea of going to baseball games and I do like watching hockey, but I care very little about sports. What I do care about is Katie Nolan. Everything I know about sports, I know through Katie Nolan. She's a sportscaster for Fox Sports. I think? I don't know. I don't have cable or a television. Anyway, she did used to (until very recently) have a YouTube show called Garbage Time where she talks about sports that I watched fairly regularly.

Now you're probably sitting there thinking, dear lord, Tina, stop being so easily won over by cute girls. To which I say, you don't know my life. But also Katie is a ducking gem and I feel like I need to educate the non-sports masses about her. Specifically, about the best game ever created; Game of Moans.

Her producers compiles sound bites of the grunts and moans from tennis players as well as grunts and moans from sex scenes in movies. They play the clip for her and she has to figure out if the moan is a tennis moan or a sex moan. To make things difficult, the producers add a racquet before each noise. Yeah. It's as dumb and charming as you think it is. And shockingly very difficult to guess as evidenced by her track record and the ridiculous face she makes each time she guesses. Also, Katie gets Sharapova's wrong every single time.

If that game's not up your alley, although I don't understand why it wouldn't be, here's Katie Nolan attempting to do the beer mile. Here she is scouting dogs for the puppy bowl at a local dog park. Here's her ripping apart mascots. Here she is proving it's possible to chug six beers at one time. She did an entire Lemonade parody about Tom Brady's "DeflateGate." What more do you honestly want??

There are few things I care very little about. Sports, especially football, is one of those things. HOWEVER, above all, I care about women. Let's face it; sports reporting is an insanely male-dominated industry. Women are used on the sidelines to ask simple questions while the men get to have full on debates on their lil TV shows. Because what could a woman possibly contribute if she's never played football herself.

Listen. A woman is perfectly capable of talking about football without any practical experience because football is a GAME. Sports are about stats and numbers and anyone who takes an interest in those stats and numbers can speak intelligently about them. Also, if you want women to have experience playing "The Game," then let girls ducking play the game.

(How come dudes that take sports seriously can also be taken seriously when they talk about politics, but everyone's shocked that Teen Vogue is leading the resistance? Your opinions on boot cut jeans don't affect your ability to also be politically aware. It's almost like people can have a multitude of interests and can speak intelligently about the circumstances of the world they're living in AND have an opinion on which lip gloss is the most long lasting. One doesn't diminish the other. Un-ducking-real.)

You want to talk about the need for feminism? Look no further than the NFL's disgusting trend of letting men who abused women right back into the league with barely a slap on the wrist. I have never seen a sportscaster actually call the league out on its bullshit like Katie Nolan's episode on Greg Hardy's return. Sports needs more people like her.

So, Katie Nolan, thanks for educating me about sports and thanks for being a breath of fresh air in that world.