The Five Times TV Has Let Me Down
First of all, everybody relax. I am still so very single. This quote is not about me and my life. It comes from the most darling TV show that NONE OF Y'ALL WATCHED, Downward Dog. It was a very charming half-hour show about a woman and her dog. The show was narrated by the dog, Martin. And it's the best thing none of you have ever seen. Somehow we live in a world where How I Met Your Mother got nine seasons (NINE!!!!), but Downward Dog only got eight episodes.
There are some things that are just unforgivable.
Did you guys know that I almost had a How I Met Your Mother spin-off called How I Met Your Father starring Greta Gerwig? Not only do I live in a world without Downward Dog, but I never got to see a TV series based around Greta Gerwig trying to find a husband and pay rent. (That was a really good niche Greta Gerwig joke that all zero of you will understand. Know that it would've killed at a film festival with a bunch of film nerds.)
I am now going to talk about the TV shows that I thought deserved a longer, better life. Why? Because I have no idea what to talk about anymore. This is just me rambling to a captive audience. Thank you for being hereeeeeeee.
(But also, if there's something you want to
rant about share my opinion on, lemme know. I have an opinion on basically everything.)
Tina's Television Justice
- Veronica Mars - At first, I was going to only include TV shows that got cancelled unjustly after one season. However, my love for Veronica Mars outweighs everything. Is Logan Echolls the only fictional man I will ever love? Sure ducking looks like it. But honestly. A headstrong, cool, empowered high school girl that does private investigating as her extracurricular?? 2004 was so far from ready for that.
- Pushing Daisies and Wonderfalls - I'm including these as a combo since they're both Bryan Fuller. You may know him from the wildly successful American Gods. Before he did that, he made two very sweet, very quirky dramedies. Daisies got two seasons, Wonderfalls got one. Pushing Daisies is about a pie maker who can touch dead things once to bring them back to life. When it comes to people, if he touches a dead person, they can be alive again for sixty seconds. After sixty seconds, someone else dies and the now reincarnated person is alive again. Unless the pie maker touches them a second time. This poses an interesting problem when he brings his childhood sweetheart back to life. Wonderfalls is about Jaye, a very over-qualified college grad working at a minimum wage gift shop job in Niagara Falls. Inanimate animals start saying weird, cryptic things to her and she has to figure out what exactly they want her to do. (Also, Fuller's Dead Like Me. Bro, I'm so sorry all of your shows got cancelled?? If it's any consolation, I loved them.)
- Don't Trust the B----- In Apartment 23 - This show deserved the whole damn world and I'm sad that everyone slept on it. I'm also mad that it's leaving Netflix soon. Who doesn't want a sitcom where James Van Der Beek plays a wildly over-exaggerated version of himself? Basically, June moves from the midwest to start a shiny new Wall Street job. On her first day, the SEC is raiding the place and she's out a job and an apartment. She finds Chloe's roomate ad on Craigslist and, despite Chloe starting off as
a bit ofa con artist, the two form a very, very unlikely friendship.
- American Dreams - This show, and my mother, are why I have a soft spot for '60s teeny bopper hits. Am I listening to JoJo's version of You Don't Own Me right now? Yes, I am. I know why this show failed. It was just so insanely expensive to keep buying the rights to all those old songs every week. 2002 was not ready for this gem of a show. It was about a Catholic family in 1963 and their children coming of age in the wake of Kennedy's assassination. Meg, the second oldest (?), had dreams of being on Bandstand, so each week a contemporary singer would appear as the singer from the '60s.
- Supergirl - What? You're saying there was a second season of this? Kinda feels like there shouldn't have been.