Tina Kakadelis
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Burn Before Reading: A Carly Allen Story

Three Cool Aunts & One Slightly Nerdier Aunt (Supergirl 3.04 Recap)

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So the episode starts off with a flashback to the very first episode and the plane Kara saves. The night she becomes Supergirl. I didn't expect to get as emotional about that as I did, but that's a good summation of my life and my tentative title for my memoir, Unexpectedly Too Emotional. We then jump to two years later, with Sam trying real hard to be the best single mom out there as she juggles a phone call with investors at her daughter's soccer game. A rando soccer mom rolls up and is like your child's special and Sam's like yeah I know but who tf are you. The soccer mom just gives her a weird pamphlet and walks away. Not even kids' soccer games are free from cults.

And then there was a scene where Kara and Lena BLATANTLY flirted with each other and I just don't even really know what's going on anymore??? If you're so adamant that Kara and Lena are only friends, then maybe they should start acting like it???

Sam lets Kara take the pamphlet and Kara figures out it's an invitation to a weird cult centered around people have been saved by Supergirl. The pastor dude starts off with this prayer(?) that's an actual Kryptonian thing and Kara has a flashback to her mom saying it. Can someone give this girl a break?? Just let her have one nice thing left over from Krypton that doesn't make her sad, okay?

What makes this all very interesting is that the way they're treating her, like a god, is kinda what she wants in her deepest, blown-out-of-proportion thoughts. In season one, Kara gets infected with Red Kryptonite. There's a whole bunch of Kryptonites (the traditional Kryptonite is green and that's the thing that can kill her), but Red Kryptonite takes away inhibitions and filters and multiplies them tenfold. So every awful thought she's ever had came spilling out. She was an entirely different person who didn't think she got the respect she deserved for all her hard work. This was also back in the day when the city didn't trust her because she was new and a girl.

Kara, Alex, Maggie, and Sam have a girls' night where they talk about boys. Leave it to the writers to make a group of four women, half of whom are lesbians, talk about men. Have y'all heard of the Bechdel Test or no??

Lena tells a story about how she was gonna bang this dude and he was like wait are you baptized, to which everyone is shocked because it's apparently unfathomable that someone WOULDN'T have sex with Lena if they had the chance. I get it.

The editor is a true LGBT ally because when Sam asked if Kara was seeing anyone and Kara started to say, "Um, I'm actually..." and then trailed off, the editor cut right to Lena looking longingly at Kara. If that ain't gay, then wtf are we doing here??

Also, Alex is about ten seconds away from trying to get with Sam because she's a single mom and just desperately wants a kid. @ The CW:  Turn this into the superhero L Word I DESERVE. But also, I low-key find it hilarious that Maggie Sawyer is a single mom in a BUNCH of comics, but suddenly, on the show, she hates kids.

During girls' night, a siren wails so Kara makes a flimsy excuse to bail. She's gotta stop dramatically taking off her glasses after saying things like, "I'm, uh, gonna get some ice." People are going to catch on, girl.

Anyway, there's a dude trapped in a fire, she saves him, and he's like, I was waiting for you. Then the girl from the cult says oh, babe, I'm so proud of you. So people are putting themselves in danger to be saved by Supergirl so they can join the cult. How fun for Kara.

Kara tries to confront the cult leader and be like yo, stop telling people to put themselves in dangerous situations. Supergirl's BUSY. And the dude's like, no forking way...you're Supergirl. WHICH BEGS THE GOSH-DARNED QUESTION:  how has Lena not figured it out??? This dude looked at damp Kara Danvers on the wing of a plane at nighttime from inside the plane and figured it out, but Lena somehow has NOT.

Anyway, Kara then pulls the good 'ole You Think I'm A God So Listen To Me move and is like stop this. Dude's like okay, but then goes into this back room where I'm thinking a Krypton pod is hiding. He's obviously got something bad planned for it.

Meanwhile, Sam's struggling being L Corp's CFO and says she's the worst possible mom and Lena says you haven't met Lillian Luthor. They also have the sweetest scene about raising girls to be badasses and Sam says her daughter's already a badass and Lena says yeah, because she's loved. And if that's the standard on growing up to be a badass, how the hell did Lena turn into one because her mother certainly didn't love her. (GIVE LENA A NICE MOTHER FIGURE 2K17.)

I'm aware that Kara and Lena will never be a thing despite how much they're leaning into it, so I'm still a big fan of Kara/James. And their scene on the couch about belief and faith. He looks her right in the eye and says, "How are you not a miracle?" and I'm just wondering who on the PLANET decided to bring Mon-el onto this show when men like James Olsen have been here since day one. Bless them for remembering that James is a great guy.

The team discovers that Mr. Cult Leader has a Kryptonian pod that's kinda like our Voyager Probe. Only problem is, it's destabilizing and becoming a bomb that could level a whole block. He took it to the hockey stadium (dead giveaway they shoot in Vancouver now, amiright?) and he's gonna blow the bomb in a packed stadium so he'll have more people in his weird cult.

Side note, when did the green Kryptonite special effects get so good?? Also, when she sliced her hand and held it up and said, I am no God. Damn, Kara Danvers, way to be dramatic. Cutting her hand and bleeding kinda shuts down the whole cult thing since it proves she's not invincible. Instead of turning it off though, the cult leader forks it up and turns it on.

Kara's too weak from the Kryptonite exposure to fly it out of there, so she uses the last of her energy to laser a hole in the ground that Alex then pushes the pod into and everything seems hunky-dory for now.

Kara, Alex, and Lena all show up to Ruby's daughter's school play thing where they're doing a dance dressed as Supergirl. Alex points out to Kara that those kids aren't worshipping her, they're inspired by her. There's a difference. Sam's daughter sings that song from Willy Wonka and all four of the ladies look proud as hell. I do love that these women get to be best friends. We need more good female friendships on TV.

Alex starts crying because it's hitting her how desperately she wants kids. She walks out mid-performance because it's just TOO MUCH. Kara goes out after her and is like hi, I know we haven't had a real sister-to-sister talk since season one, but I wanna be there for you.

Y'all, that scene BROKE my heart. Alex tells Kara she lied to Maggie about being okay not having kids. Then Alex talks about all the things she wants to teach her child and Alex is such a great actress and I'm crying. YOU SHOW YOUR FUTURE CHILD THE CONSTELLATIONS, ALEX, I'M ROOTING FOR YOU. She wants to teach her kid to read, punch, and make cheesy Valentines...is Alex Danvers my dream wife??? But seriously, give Alex Danvers a kid 2K17.

All in all, I liked it. A lot. Shockingly a lot. I liked what they had to say on religion and how small groups of people can twist a religion to become unrecognizable to people who  actually follow the religion. Kara kept saying how Mr. Cult Leader was taking the peaceful, loving teachings of Rao and turning them into something bad. Kinda like the Westboro Baptist Church. Kinda like how people think all people who practice Islam are terrorists, but it's really just a very small subset that's twisted the actual teachings of Islam. So yay, Supergirl, for alluding to that distinction.

ALSO REIGN OH MY LORDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Basically, Supergirl is becoming a good show again because that boring piece of misogynistic white bread is gone and this is me now because I don’t know how to handle that:

See ya next week.